It is a well-known fact that we communicate nonverbally and that only 7% of communication is reduced to spoken words. The question arises as to what is going on in the communication process, especially when we know that communication affects the quality level of all relationships, from business to intimate ones. It is also important to point out that the root word of communication comes from the Latin word communicare which means to share. So, what exactly do you share in the process of communicating with the rest of the world, i.e. what do you give and what do you receive?
This question also implies the essence of the knowledge of the communication process as everything moves from the personal perception of the world around us, i.e. the network of mental programs that operate at the deepest subconscious level. These mental programs, among other things, influence communication, both verbal and nonverbal, and are responsible for information processing.
What does it mean in practice?
It happens too often that everybody leaves a meeting with their own thoughts and interpretations and it is necessary to make a consensus on what you have all agreed at that meeting. In particular, it is important to state in an intimate relationship, for example, what exactly did he want, and what did she conclude that he wanted, and vice versa.
The entire process of processing the information in the communication process comes down to aligning them with the mental image of each person, and in that process the mind can rigidly use tools like erasing, distorting and generalizing information to maintain the existing state, to stay in its, often narrow, limited perception. A mind with well-defined mental programs supports the state of the comfort zone which aims to stay as it used to be, although you may seem to have changed something, especially if you are following the changes only through the content structure of your existence.
Whenever a substantive change is desired or a significantly improved communication process, it is necessary to expand the perception, more accurately, it is necessary to change subconscious mental programs. You can enrich the communication cycle with a variety of knowledge about correcting dictation, active listening, written communication, presentation skills and negotiation, as well as the knowledge of nonverbal communication etc. Or you can, for example, integrate active listening, interpretation and understanding of spoken words in intimate relationships. This is just a substantive change that can create certain values in your communication process for a short period of time. When integrating new knowledge into an already existing mental program model, then you use new information with the old system and essentially do not change the model and patterns of behavior.
Looking inward and outward
The basic mental model as well as the network of accompanying mental programs are created at the earliest age of our lives and all life experiences are the product of these basic installed programs that you only validate through life if you do not decide to change them. These installed programs are very often based on beliefs that your outcomes depend on external factors, i.e. that external factors affect your perception of yourself and of the outside world. You value yourself depending on how others perceive you. For example, your actions depend on the praise and acknowledgments of other people, your value structures depend on whether your partner loves you, your perception of the world, existence, success, it depends on the material values you possess (here is the question of who owns who, if you own the possession, or the possession owns you) …
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with being loved by your partner, or by possessing material goods, but if you value yourself through the prism of external factors, then you cannot clearly see the resources and the values that abound in your original nature.
When you realize that all your events and experiences are the fruit of your inner factors (beliefs, knowledge, attitudes, actions…) then you are in the original creation zone. It’s just about looking at yourself outwardly or inwardly, depending on your communication process.
If you communicate from the outside world, then your entire communication process is set to project, i.e., it divides the obscure copy of yourself outwardly, but when you communicate from your original, then sharing and receiving information in the communication process is more complete.
Original communication…in practice
For example, if you are a leader who has the awareness that your experience is the fruit of your own inner system, then when talking to a colleague who has not performed the individual tasks necessary for the project you will have a wider perception, and you will question yourself why are you experiencing that specific situation. Your first thought will not be how to justify yourself in the team. Secondly, your entire communication course will not primarily focus on the content of the communication where you will persistently seek the guilty person for the new situation, but you will use the experience as a basis for further learning and expansion.
You will also take the responsibility for your own participation in the process, and you will have the awareness of how to teach the person who did not perform these tasks about the same thing. Most importantly, when you master this process of acting from the original, you will systematically use it in a complete communication context. Additionally, at the start you will know if your colleague is able to perform all the set tasks or not. You will also understand the non-verbal expression of the person you communicate with. Additionally, your attention in the active listening cycle will raise the quality of receiving and processing the information. When you act from your original self, then you also have a certain distance from the content, so you are observing more the communication context which is the attribute of the original leaders. More precisely, your attention is not absorbed by content of that specific situation but is focused on the power of creating/changing the context.
The knowledge of communication expression from the original self greatly enhances intimate relationships. When you consciously and originally interact with your partner then your attention will not be focused on the content of the intimate relationship and the so-called blame game, (you gave it to me, I gave it to you or I didn’t…), but you will observe the context of the quality of your relationship and how you personally contribute to the relationship which will affect the quality of absolutely all interactions between you and your partner.
When you decide to consciously expand the communication context using resources of your original nature then you know that every moment is a chance to grow and use continuous corrective steps one at a time. It may happen that you have selective attention in some communication processes, but it is important to correct your practice and you can improve your communication interaction with full attention at any time.